I have a sensitive stomach…well that is putting it mildly. My stomach frequently gets pissed off…I mean throwing elbows and such. Today I decided to eat a hot dog…an all beef hot dog. AND then I had pizza. Really? It’s like my stomach is screaming…why do you make me hit you??? OY the heart burn, the sick feeling. The fear of what is to come. I’m illen’ yo.
I have decided to compile a list of foods that everyone should avoid at all times…it goes a little something like this:
Hot Dogs, pepperoni Pizza, on the subject of pizza I think anything other than Veggie or cheese should be out. If it’s got Mayo in it…throw it out! Regular old timey potato chips (non-baked), French fries. (If you are over 5 you shouldn’t eat those) Anything fried, say one of those “Tornado” things that they sell in the freezer section..OMG so awful, Pasties, “fried meat pies” (southern folks you know em’…. you eat em’ STOP) Mushrooms, onion rings, the entire Burger King menu, Most of the food at Wendy’s, Half the menu at Taco Bell, McDonalds….I got nothing but love for ya. Speaking as a woman whose stomach frequently gets nuts…McDonalds whatever you are doing don’t stop. Your food is the ONLY food that is served through a window that I can eat and not be sad about it! Do I even need to cover KFC…it’s got fried in the name, AVOID IT. All carnival foods, (save for the elephant ears…I’ll bend my rule for one of those per year!) Most baked goods will make me sick, especially donuts. ZOMG…the horror of a Krispie Creme. Flurry’s from anywhere, homemade hamburgers….the list goes on and on.
I feel like I stood in for that man from Man v’s Food who by the way I’m pretty sure will be dead by this time next year, He just keeps looking worse…. I honestly feel poisoned. Why didn’t I buy a pallet of tums today when I was at Costco???? (BTW good ole’ Costco decided to bake the chocolate chip cookies today while we were milling about…guess what I have now? 30 chocolate chip cookies! FAIL OR win because their tactic worked like a freaking charm!) I’ve scoured my cabinets, purses, the car, everywhere for just one Tum…I’d eat one with dirt and purse funk on it. OY.
It’s gonna be a long night blogosphere…real long. AND it’s now Monday. Damn Monday and it’s requiring me to work, and be AIS (ass in seat!) *sighs*