Blogging Reluctantly

Our Life. Our Memories. My point of view on both. Captured here.

For this child I prayed August 21, 2010

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him ~ Samuel 1:27

For this Etsy seller here (dear Etsy seller, you know that I know and now the readers know I didn’t accept any gifts in exchange for this shout out, I’m just in awe of your product and will be ordering one SOON, your choice of Adde is what caught my eye!)

For this amazing seller go here (same goes for this seller, not paid, just in awe!)

Why am I cruising Etsy and all hours of the night? Because I’m a hopeless night owl, which is of course a nice word for insomniac!  I had an overly stressful day, but the thought of these children our “Addison or Brennan” they are what helps me continue on.  They will be the gift, that I will be given for perseverance  in the face of so much that is working against us.  Their souls, those little beings waiting in the wings for us to put everything into place for them to arrive is so much motiviation! I will never be able to describe how much I want to see them.

We are on the brink of an anniverary,  the loss of my first husband to cancer.  It’s been 7 years.  When I see the number 7 I am taken aback.  How can that be?  He’s been gone longer from our daughters lives than he was in them.  That fact breaks my heart.  Someone told me recently on FB that I’d come and gone a long ways since high school.  I completely agree with that statement.  I’ve been taken to places I never dreamed anyone could go let alone me.  But now we, Michael and I are traveling into uncharted waters, we at the age of…..well let’s just leave that out are about to start over with parenting.  We go backwards quickly in time to day 1. Diapers, formula, what are they supposed to be doing and when?  Just when I think that will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done….I remember, no, no the hardest thing I have ever done, and hope to ever do was trying to explain that the father the girls loved would never ever be alive on this planet again.


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