Blogging Reluctantly

Our Life. Our Memories. My point of view on both. Captured here.

And so it begins. December 31, 2010

SO 2010 is almost a freaking wrap…anyone sad? Not me. It wasn’t a bad year, in fact it was basically the best year eva! But I’m ready to move on, ready to put the God DAMN BEAN BAG  PLACE TO BED For good. Ready to forget all the drama that was that place and the bitchy co-workers…HEY FYI NEXT TIME DON’T LAUGH ABOUT SOMEONE GETTING BIT BY BLACK FLIES YOU GOD DAMN PSYCHO!  There now that, that has passed LMAO. I’m ready to shake all of it off and step out of the fog.  I am ready to reverse the mistakes and hopefully God Willing have another baby, or at the very least restore my body to it’s natural state and hope like hell it works.

We are so excited about this process and I will begin thoroughly chronically my process Monday with my first step in the right direction by having my first lady appointment in well over 5 years. I’m scared to death, I would rather NOT know I have something wrong…get sick one day and drop dead than know I’m ill and wither away slowly. I have no reason to believe that I’m not well, I have faith I am okay but I’m still terrified, terrified that the life I want to have and have been planning  my life around will  for some god forsaken reason be ripped away.  BUT after all of these years I need to face the scared feelings and know.  SO I scheduled the appointment and hopefully I can even get the ultrasound out of the way to be 100% sure there has been no changes to my body that would prevent our process.

I hope you’ll all tune in for updates and if anything throw some encouragement my way. I need it.


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