Blogging Reluctantly

Our Life. Our Memories. My point of view on both. Captured here.

BFP…Big Fat. Perhaps? August 16, 2011

2 of the 4 I have taken.  I’ve learned I rather enjoy peeing on things…especially when there are 2 lines instead of 1.  I should be happy right? I should be you are right. I am happy. I am also terrified. Petrified.  paralyzed with fear.  I had some strange pains that drove me to urgent care where the care was neither urgent nor clear in their information. I understand I’m 4 weeks 5 days and nothing can be seen through an ultrasound but still…the pain is significant.  The ultrasound did show a cyst. They did not put my mind at ease about the cyst and say FAGGGEETTABOUTTTIT. It’s nothing, that cyst there, that cyst is evil and is causing all the pains. SIGH.  Medical professionals just do not seems to deal with my crazy well.  I know I’m crazy, I know I’m panicky, I know that I am not rational. That is fine, I get to be all of these things because I f’ing live here. I am so deeply emotionally involved with this process I cannot and will not unplug. I don’t roll that way.  I am seriously thinking about shopping doctors.   Anyways my HCG level was 309. We retest on Wednesday. Results I’m assuming will be Thursday.  I cannot wait to have the panic subside.

In the meantime I’ll look at this picture:

And think about how cute our babies will be…because the gene pool isn’t too shabby (at least on the right side of the photo!) how could you not want to have lots and lots of that mans babies.  🙂