Blogging Reluctantly

Our Life. Our Memories. My point of view on both. Captured here.

Real March 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — bloggingreluctantly @ 5:04 pm

SO still pregnant! 36 weeks 3 days.  Released from maternal fetal medicine care and now we wait.  I hate waiting.  EVERYTHING has been a waiting game for a whole year.  OVER IT.  I’ll wait a little longer to meet my angel but oy vey am I tired.  This isn’t a baby post.

In October 2010 I blogged about our move from the little house to this bigger house were we currently house ourselves.  It’s a fine home.  3 (recently converted to 4) bedrooms 2 bathrooms, 2 stall garage.  AVERAGE home. SO f’ing vanilla makes me head hurt. I don’t like new construction homes.  I love a house with a story, not a second floor I mean a past.  I love to walk within their walls and think of all the Christmas’ that took place, the long winters it sheltered its former owners from, the ways the world changed which it stood strong.  My dream has always been to find a home built 100 years ago and redo it from the floor up.  Give it a new life, and allow it to stand another 100 years. SO needless to say we’ve been looking.  I just can’t be happy in this house.  I hate this space.  I hate the neighborhood, the constant dogs barking, kids screaming.  It’s just not me.  For the last couple years it’s felt like wearing a shoe that doesn’t fit.

Problem being my dream homes go quick, swallowed up by g.d. investors that buy up 10 properties at a time and then do nothing with them. I’m so frustrated with it.  We find a place, and two seconds later it’s gone.  I just want SO badly to get out of this house. I don’t know why, I don’t know if it’s pregnancy related but being here bugs me.  It could be the high cost of this place that is bothering me the most and the stress that comes with being house poor but I’d do anything to just be out from under this payment and stress.  There is too much stress right now.  We just need a break.  We need help finding the right house, getting the financing and moving.  UGH.

I just needed to vent.  I need to scream, and cry but what good is it going to do???? Life needs to change.