Blogging Reluctantly

Our Life. Our Memories. My point of view on both. Captured here.

28 weeks January 27, 2012

Filed under: Addie / B.Boy Wilson,Babies By Levin,Baby Bumps — bloggingreluctantly @ 7:23 pm

I told myself I wouldn’t post, because I am SO superstitious about this pregnancy but when I clicked on my link I realized how lame this is that I haven’t posted anything since before Christmas.  Here I am 28 weeks exactly.  I’m on full time bedrest due to a shortening cervix, the doctor gave me 2 doses of steroids should my water break (like it has in the past…of course it broke a long time from now…but just to be safe) Little girl is doing good.  She is kicking and kicking me right now.  I also am on weekly progesterone shots to stop labor which are working really well.  Her nursery is “done” the furniture is bought, except for the rocker and my baby shower is 2.18.12 praying and praying I’m still pregnant.  The doctor said 30 weeks is the goal at the moment.  I can’t imagine meeting my baby in 2 weeks.  She would have a lengthy nicu stay if she did, so I know she wouldn’t be home wish us right away but…MY goal is 34 weeks.  Puts us into March.  Anyways that is all for now.  I promise to post photos of our angel.  See you on the other side.

 

Team Pink November 16, 2011

Filed under: Addie / B.Boy Wilson,Babies By Levin,Tubal Reversal — bloggingreluctantly @ 11:22 am
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I am a bad blogger….but I’ll try to make up for it with news of our babe.  She is a girl.  A wonderful healthy miracle who we have named Annabelle Helen.  Anna for her Great Grandma Kent and Helen for her dad’s grandmother.  Two strong women who brought over 15 souls into the world between them and if they hadn’t she wouldn’t be here either.  Our hearts are bursting at the seams with love and I can’t stop thanking God for her.  Here is some more of our angel.

 

 

 

I will try to get all caught up on blogging this weekend.  Our girl is 17w 5d in these photos.

 

14 weeks 2 days October 23, 2011

Filed under: Addie / B.Boy Wilson,Babies By Levin,Baby Bumps,Love it — bloggingreluctantly @ 5:13 pm
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Hey Yo, it’s been a bit since I’ve posted.  Thankfully things are smoothing out…well aside from my insane stomach problems but let’s be real that ALWAYS is a problem and will still be a problem even after Wilson baby 1st edition is on the scene. We had our NT scan which was good, first round of blood work was good.  The babies heart rate has settled into a nice 145-150 range and I am getting rounder every day.  I’m still in awe of the fact that I am expecting.  I think when my water breaks I’ll still be in awe.  I have to say that everyday that ticks by this baby and I bond a little more.  Hubby has really started bonding as well.  He asks to hear the heartbeat and frequently rests his hands on my stomach at night.   Something that makes my heart skip every time.  I didn’t think it was possible to love him more but having him love this baby already makes me love him more. 

We have our next appointment on Tuesday and we find out gender on 11.28.2011 the first Monday after Thanksgiving.  We have so much to be thankful for this year.   Until next time…

 

11 weeks October 2, 2011

Filed under: Babies By Levin,Baby Bumps,Tubal Reversal — bloggingreluctantly @ 4:17 pm
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I think it is safe to say that I am expanding…wether I like it or not and for the record I LOVE the little being growing inside me the thicker middle NOT>SO>MUCH! Whatever though I went through a lot for this fat look and I know I’ll lose it, oh yes I’ll lose it.   As you can also see from the shot my baby girl Emma the cat wanted to be part of the show.  She is unable to have babies herself so she is soaking it all up through me.   I love her, her brother Alex and their sister the dog Lily.  It’s a circus around these parts for sure.

SO to get all caught up like, I had yet another ultrasound on Tuesday where I saw babykins moving around kinda waving at me LOL heartbeat 176.  THRILLED.  We have our NT scan on Tuesday the 11th of October which Hubby will make it to, I know these scans are sorta annoying but they make me feel SO much better.  You know what else makes me feel good my Sonoline B fetal doppler that up until about an hour ago I cursed with ever fiber of my being because no matter what I did I could not find my babies heartbeat until….I layed flat on my bathroom floor with a full bladder (side note: pregnant lady can have a full bladder almost on command..just saying) and low and behold I heard it.  167 was as high as the heartbeat went on this jankey thing…It cost $53.00 on ebay how awesome can it really be??? LOL BUT at last I don’t feel like I threw 53.00 down the toilet.  I can’t wait for hubby to get home from the gym so he can hear it!  We’ve both heard a whole lot of my own heartbeat with this thing!!!

Other than the weeks SLOWLY ticking by not a whole bunch is going on around these parts,  we are getting ever so close to the 2nd trimester which I can’t wait for and I’m looking even more forward to our scan where we get to find out what we are having.   I am trying so hard to keep things in perspective that we aren’t out of the woods yet but it’s hard.  SO hard when you want something so badly.  We love this little child so much and have so many dreams for him / her.  We just pray that everything goes the way we want. 🙂

 

8 weeks September 11, 2011

Filed under: Babies By Levin,Baby Bumps,Tubal Reversal — bloggingreluctantly @ 9:15 pm
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Week 7 not my best week, I felt bloated and disgusting and was too vain to take a photo of myself.  I have serious body image issues.  The beginning of week 8 isn’t looking much better.  I still have not gained any weight but I just feel awful in my skin.  This is the definition of vanity.  I don’t feel pretty or glowy I feel ugly and bloated.  My pants, bra, hell even my underwear bug me.  I’m ready to run out and get some plus size panties just to not feel like everything is sticking to me HA!   To say pregnancy doesn’t become me is a friggen understatement. 

I finally broke down and called the doctor and asked for some Zofran.  It did help but created a whole other set of problems.  I’ll spare you the details but if you want you can google Zofran side effects and yes the first and most awful one is the one I have.  SO needless to say I’m not take that anymore.  I’d rather be sick day in and day out than have that.   Besides THAT whatelse…oh anything with carbonation bugs me, and if I even think about chicken or anything spicy (gagging as I type this) I feel sick.  Pizza is good, red meat is good, sweets…UM depends on what it is.   Thinking of pizza…pizza doesn’t sound bad.  HA! My oldests father owns a pizza restaurant and Friday night when I dropped her off I had her call and order myself and our youngest a pizza. YUMMO (Hubs hates it) I didn’t eat much but what I did have was fantastic.   This whole food aversion thing is strange. I originally could have lived on Chicken tacos from Chilis now I couldn’t eat it if I had to.  Weirdo baby things.

It was fantastic to not have a Friday doctor appointment and to not have the stress and worry, we don’t go again until the 27.  3 days after my 35th and hubs 36th birthday (for those  not aware my husband and I have the same birthday) On Friday we are going to see Lewis Black in Mount Pleasant at a casino.  I’m really looking forward to that, except I’m sure there will be cigarette smoke…wonder how that’ll sit with the sickness 🙂 HA!  Let’s hope by next week at this time my vanity will be a little more under control. YEAH right.

 

 

What Crinone 8% can teach you. September 5, 2011

Filed under: Babies By Levin,BFP AND ME,TTC,Tubal Reversal — bloggingreluctantly @ 11:48 pm
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This weekend has been rough, perhaps it’s my advancing pregnancy or it’s the medicine that is allowing me to stay pregnant either way I am dreadfully sick.  Friday I clawed my way through the work day came home and slept for 3 hours.  In my bed. I never do this, but my room is always cold and the nausea and the spinning warranted cool air.  It makes you feel drunk, hung over, wildly unstable on every front and has some of the most unpleasant side effects that you’ll ever experience.  OH I forgot the fatigue.  The I can’t stay awake no matter what but when it’s normal bed time I’m WIDE ASS AWAKE, tired as a dog, fatigue.  Vicious cycle.  The sickness is so bad, I cannot open my refrigerator, or even take my prenatal vitamins because seriously they gross me the hell out. If I walk across my house I have to sit down…….

SO as I was lamenting on my woe’s of the medicine it hit me, shut the “F” up.  There are so many women who would give the teeth to be this sick,  I was one of them.  I paid a hell of a lot of money to be in this situation, we are blessed beyond measure.  This medicine is keeping our little one in there hopefully until his / her birthday but it’s at least giving us a shot.  I need to stop the complaining.  I would really really love some Zofran to knock down the sickness and at least let me WALK without feeling like I’m going to pass out.  HA!

I read a lot of IF blogs and it made me see how selfish I really am being.  All women know that pregnancy is ugly, it’s not all happy baby bumps and cuteness, it’s raw, painful, scary, and it makes you sick.  It’s hard on everyone including but not limited to your husband / partner.  One of the unpleasant side effects of Crinone is it kills your sex drive, and even if the medicine didn’t the manner of administration (ahem) doesn’t really make you want to burn up the sheets.  I know that before Crinone anything bedroom related was scary for hubs and this may be TMI but we have a really great bedroom life. NOW? NOT.SO.MUCH.  Sigh.  Again this is a price you pay.  He gets that, but I feel bad, for me I have no desire.  Him…well he’s a man. HA!

Bringing new life into this world is just plain tricky, the process is beautifully simply and incredibly complex, it’s filled with emotions and pain and unmeasurable amounts of joy.  Everytime I post here about my pregnancy my heart aches a bit for the women out there waiting to be sick, who would give everything to be me.  I think about all of you, I pray that you get your BFP.  That your pregnancy is seen all the way to the end. (and I vow to NEVER EVER wish you a sticky bean because that bugs me when others say it!)

 

Ya know… September 1, 2011

Filed under: Addie / B.Boy Wilson,Babies By Levin,BFP AND ME,I hate it. — bloggingreluctantly @ 12:52 am
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What I hate. I hate this mid-week scare that I have waiting for Friday.  Friday is our next ultrasound and somewhere around this time of the “wait” is when I think about how this is never going to work out.  How I won’t see a heartbeat and I’ll have this image in my head that I’ll chew on over and over of a blank ultrasound screen.  No happy feelings, just a miserable memory that will haunt us.  I hate this.  Initially I wanted 3 more children.  To tell you the truth if we have a boy first (and IF this pregnancy lasts) this may be it.  I have never been so scared.  I want off this roller coaster.  (not by a miscarriage) I want so badly to enjoy this pregnancy.   I also think that starting to have OB appointments this early is horrible.  You know to much, you fear to much, you have all of these people making you feel like it’s all gonna go down the drain.  Imagine if I didn’t step foot inside an OB office for 3 more weeks.  OH MY HELL all this stress wouldn’t be.  I know to much. 

I feel turned inside out.  Maybe it’s the Crinone…maybe it’s just life because we are BUSY YO. (can I can a HELL YEAH on school starting???) BUT me thinks it’s my lack of control.  I hate not having control.  I know that I’m not in control but DAMN IT I want to be…..A panic attack can’t be far away.